Misguided Ghost

Apr 17

quote

Another boy, another dick in my mouth, another sigh in his bathroom mirror

I didn’t cum, but who cares? I think about some of them and I feel sick I do things I do not want to because I crave the attention and lack the respect

bruises on my breasts, I liked them at first, he spit in my mouth I wasn’t sure if I liked it or not

I liked getting smacked in the face until it started giving my headaches that seemed to last for days

I ask for numbers from boys I don’t even think are cute for the adrenaline rush, rejection has started to become rare and sometimes I wish it wasn’t he says he loves me and I mouth the words back but I know that I cannot be trusted, It’s cruel, what I am doing, but there I go again

“I love you, i’m here, i’m safe” I say all the things I wanted to hear from my mother, from my father, from myself

I become the perfect girl always smiling, feeling guilty when I say I cannot swallow: using rape as an excuse “He raped me anally” I say, but I do not mention how I feel that I cannot express boundaries without a dramatic excuse

I let boys between my legs as if I am nothing but parts to grab and arrange, I know all the words, perfected my moans, I know to arch my back, to compliment his cock, to lie between my teeth perfectly about how genuine I am

I pretend when they hold me after that it’s poetic. My brain scrambles to make it beautiful in some way but what if it’s not? What if it’s ugly? What if I can’t stand it anymore?

I fucked a boy and drank his beer and he never texted me back, I never heard from him again and none of them give a fuck about me. They want me to walk to them but have never massaged my feet they want to pull my hair but have never washed it. They want to touch my skin and they carefully ignore the scars carved into it, they say “it makes me sad” “I can’t look at them”

I want to tell them that they are the knife

Apr 17

"I worry constantly about my relationship since I’m broken and I’m just afraid about what will happen."

"I worry constantly about my relationship since I’m broken and I’m just afraid about what will happen."

Apr 17
Apr 17

isaacswolves:

it kind of bothers me that after all this time people still dont understand how sorting works in harry potter

its not necessarily based on the characteristics you possess, its the ones you value, and that my friends is completely different. that is why the sorting hat considers your choice, otherwise why would he bother with your opinion

primary examples would be hermione, wormtail and lockhart

Apr 14

poemsandotherthings:

Prose to Poem series #1: Baby Shoes

Apr 14

nature-angel:

People will never understand the pain that comes along with a miscarriage. You can pretty much guess what it feels like but, it will always hurt when you see a baby or a pregnant woman.. Always. No matter how many months, days, or years ago it was. You will never get over it no matter what anyone says. 

Apr 14

quote Seven months short of a miracle

— 6 word story (via thousand-word-theory)
Apr 14
Apr 14

quote Miscarriage is a tricky cultural thing, pop culture or not. It’s a deeply forbidden subject, much like many other things deemed ‘mysteries of womanhood,’ like menstruation, like pregnancy itself. People don’t talk about miscarriages and that discouragement means that many people aren’t aware of how common they are, let alone how devastating they can be. When people lose a child, they can reach out to their community for help and they are given space and time for healing. When they lose a fetus, they’re expected to keep it to themselves.

Sadly, sometimes pro-choice people can be the most vehement about this, concerned about blurring the lines between fetus and child, and saying that claiming a fetus is morally or ethically equivalent to a fully-developed, extrauterine human being could be dangerous. This makes the mistake of applying broad strokes to the issue, though. Legally, of course, a fetus should not be equivalent to a child. Personally, however, losing a wanted pregnancy is an intensely emotional experience and it can feel on some level to the parents like losing a child, with the added burden of not being allowed to acknowledge it, talk about it, or ask for help.

Apr 14

whylivethislife:

While all you are out there having abortions remember there are people including me willing to give anything to have there baby back

Apr 14
gottacatcheevee:

Why can’t people understand that. We are mothers who deserve the right to mourn too.

gottacatcheevee:

Why can’t people understand that. We are mothers who deserve the right to mourn too.

Apr 14
evenbrokenwings-will-fly:

… on We Heart Ithttp://weheartit.com/entry/111230722/via/spiderash
Apr 14

westegg-story:

having chronic depression is actually the worst because I’ll be totally okay for weeks and then BAM out of nowhere I want to kill myself

this.

Apr 14
itsconsumingme:

freak out 

itsconsumingme:

freak out 

Apr 14